Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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