I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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