Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was born a porn star she said
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
