Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
