Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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