Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Holy shit dude........stairs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
