i don't want you to think of me as your TA
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
