Soap is not a condiment
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
