Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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