I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
