He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
