READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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