Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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