Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
