But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
