there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
