we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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