Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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