bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
