So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
