We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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