I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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