Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
