do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
