Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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