Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
