theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
