i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
