so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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