In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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