so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My bed is full of blood and feathers
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
