I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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