Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize