I'm jealous of your bromance
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
