i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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