it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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