youre lurking in front of me
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
