He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
