you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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