He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
