Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
