Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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