Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
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nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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