let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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