R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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