No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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