We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
