just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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