I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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