Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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