you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
