i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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