you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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