Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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