I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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