who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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