Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
