so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
