Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
