just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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