some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
