It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she told me i tasted like america
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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