Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
