dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize