good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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