Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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